Photo: Netflix
Now I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t embarrassed to even admit to watching this movie, especially after the first one, but I’ll admit it, I watched it. After the disaster that was the 50 Shades movies, you would think that we as a society have learned our lesson on turning these cringey straight outta wattpad-ish bdsm and mafia books into movies, but NO!
Apparently we haven’t. So when I heard that Netflix was coming out with a sequel to 365 Days, I was confused. I was confused because who asked Netflix for this? I saw zero petitions of people begging for a sequel, and yet……… here we are. So in this post, I’m gonna be breaking down every single thing wrong with the 365 Days sequel, beginning with…….
The Music:
Where do I even begin with this one. This was a recurring thing throughout the entire movie that pissed me off so much. Why was there so much music??? Every single scene there's an entire song, and for absolutely ZERO reason. The entire movie literally felt like a music video 70% of the time. Don’t get me wrong, the songs were lowkey banging. The songs were cute and all, but it was just too much.
But I have a theory about the music. I feel like the writers or the producer of this movie has an entire Spotify playlist and they fully believe that they have the greatest music taste that they wanted to show off to the world, so they decided to include their entire Spotify playlist in this movie. That was the energy I was getting because there’s just no other explanation I can think of.
Y’all can think I'm over exaggerating, but I promise you I’m not. It literally felt like there was more music than actual dialogue, and the gag is, I’m not even 100% sure that I’m wrong.
The Acting:
There’s no other way for me to say this, but the acting was TERRIBLE. Just absolutely TERRIBLE. The casting directors GOTTA GO! You can’t convince me that the cast of this movie was made up of the best actors they could find. It was cringey, way too over the top, and just straight up BAD. I literally had to pause this movie every 10 minutes 'cause I was dying of laughter.
This movie was unserious to me.
Unnecessary Characters:
You know that a show or movie has a bunch of useless characters when you can’t even remember the names of those characters and what their role was in the movie, and that’s how I felt after watching this sequel.
I still don’t know who the heck this woman is and what she adds to the movie:
And I still don’t who this man and what he adds to the movie:
If you held a gun to my head and told me to list as many characters I can from this movie and the previous one, I would die. I would simply die because apart from Laura and Massimo, I don’t know who the hell any of these people are.
And what makes it even worse is the fact that they have so much unnecessary screen time. You would think that with the amount of screen time these forgettable characters have, I would know more about them, but I don’t. We see them constantly yet we learn NOTHING about them.
And then near the end when Massimo was having that meeting with those other mafia folks about Laura missing, I was so confused because I had no idea who the hell these people were and why they were on my screen.
Then we have this woman who has feelings for Massimo and wants to marry him, and I don't know what the hell her name is, but I’m over here wondering if she was a character in the first movie or not because I have no clue if I’d seen her before.
Everyone was a waste of space.
Sex Scenes:
Now hear me out, I have no issue with sex scenes on TV when they’re done WELL. The issue with 365 days is that it was TOOO MUCH! But if you’re into that sort of thing, then get it how you live it, but the CONSTANT sex scenes throughout this movie annoyed me so much. Not even 2 minutes in, and Massimo and Laura are already having sex before their wedding, with Laura in her wedding dress.
The first thing Laura says in the opening scene is, “I’m not wearing any panties.” Like………..ok???........ The first 20 minutes of this movie was literally 100% sex. Just nothing but SEX! It felt like the writers were so lazy, and didn’t know what to write, so they just threw in tons of sex scenes to fill the time.
And don’t even get me started on their wedding night, and the fact that Massimo straight up GROWLED and POUNCED on Laura like a werewolf. But the part that really made me laugh was the Christmas scene and what Laura “got” Massimo. While Massimo got Laura her own fashion line/house for Christmas, Laura decided to give Massimo sex. Yes, SEX! The same thing he gets every minute of the day.
Where Is The Plot:
I couldn’t write a quick plot summary of this movie if someone paid me to, because there was no plot whatsoever. I was confused and left scratching my head throughout the entire time because I had no idea what the hell was going on.
Let’s just address the fact that the sequel literally ignored so many unanswered questions from the first one. For example, what the hell happened to Laura in that tunnel? The first move ended off with Laura getting into a car accident, and that was it. And the sequel literally picks up with Laura and Massimo getting married. And then out of nowhere, randomly in the sequel, we learn that Laura lost her unborn child in the car accident.
Gif: Giphy
Things were moving so fast and for absolutely no reason at all. We get this smoking hot gardener who shows up out of nowhere in our screen in this hot and sexy montage that looks like it was made by a middle schooler on iMovie, and then suddenly, he appears again like a white knight to swope in and save Laura after she found “Massimo” cheating on her.
The gardener (his name is Nacho) ends up being (surprise, surprise) a member of a local mafia, and we get this predictable somewhat love triangle between him, Massimo and Laura.
And when I thought it couldn't get any worse………it got worse. We find out that Massimo has a twin brother named Adriano, who we learn later was the person Laura saw when she thought that Massimo was cheating on her.
Now, the whole twin brother/twin sister trope is so played out, but that wasn’t what got me. What got me was how randomly Adriano was added into the movie. We hear NOTHING, not even a little clue, of this man’s existence in the first movie, and then out of nowhere, after Massimo and Laura are done having sex (‘cause that’s literally all they do), Massino just causally says that he has a twin brother, and then what do ya’ know, 5 minutes later, we meet the twin brother.
The writers didn't take time to build up the storyline of the twin brother. He was just thrown in there and it felt so cheap.
The entire movie felt like someone took a bunch of random scenes, and edited them all together using iMovie, and called it a movie.
I came out of this sequel with more questions than answers.
The Ending:
Remember how I mentioned the fact that the first movie left off on a cliffhanger, and this sequel completely ignored that? The same thing happened this time around in the sequel. The last scene of the movie ends with a gun battle between Massimo, Adriano, that woman who wanted to marry Massimo, the hot gardener dude, and Laura, who was being held at gunpoint by Adriano. Adriano and the women end up dying, and while Laura was trying to run over to Massimo, she gets shot in the stomach.
THE END!
That’s it. That’s how the movie ends. Laura lying on the ground shot, the hot gardener dude walking away, and Massimo going over to Laura. Massimo didn’t even at the very least scream “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” or yell out Laura’s name or anything. It was dead silent, and the credits rolled.
If they end up coming out with a third movie, watch the opening scene be Laura and her friend at a club partying it up. Just completely ignoring the cliffhanger of the second movie, and randomly jumping ahead.
And then that third movie is gonna end with Laura being cut up and shoved into a blender, and by some miracle, the fourth movie will open with her swimming in a pool.
When I thought it couldn’t be worse than the first one, I was proven wrong. This movie makes the 50 Shades movies look Oscar worthy, and that’s saying something.
The entire sequel was a hot MESS and I wouldn’t wish my worst enemy to suffer by watching it.
I can’t give it a zero star, so I’ll give it a half star.
Comments